Excitement fills this momma's heart today! Tonight my boy plays in his first official school basketball game. Sure, we've already been through football season and that was well and good. But basketball is where my heart is. Basketball is where my heart has been since I was eight and my dad fixed a homemade goal to the side of our out-building. I dribbled and shot into the wee hours and until all the grass was worn down into dirt. Yes, grass. That old goal was in my backyard and if I wanted to make it work, I dribbled on grass and shot at the side of that old shed. That's foreign to many kids today who have shiny goals and concrete.
From what seems like the first time a ball was placed in my hands, I loved the game. I remember like it was yesterday when Janice Wilcox walked into my fifth grade classroom and passed out forms for "anyone who wants to play basketball." My eyes lit up! And then I quickly drew my eyebrows down when I realized she was passing out those forms to the boys. I raised my hand and asked her if girls could play on that team, too. She looked at me without blinking an eye and told me she didn't she why not. God, bless her. I still remember where she was standing in the classroom in Baldwin School. And plain as day, I can remember myself and Shelia Freeman loving every minute of that fifth grade year playing on the boys' team. The next year the first ever 6th grade girls team was formed.
Little did I know my life would be completely changed by Mrs. Janice walking into my classroom that day. This game would take me places I would never otherwise have gotten to go. It would bring me confidence and tenacity. It would teach me teamwork like nothing else could have. It would throw trials my way to develop my character. It would raise up in me a mental toughness that I would take with me into adulthood.
For twenty years, it was my life and truly my identity. First, I was Dana Holsten, the point guard for the Lady Rams. Then I was Dana Holsten Self, the point-guard-turned ASU assistant coach. Then I was Coach Self, who went back to her own high school to teach a love of the game to junior high girls.
I've now been completely out of basketball (other than coaching a few Y teams and playing in a few old-timers games) for twelve years. I'm now a wife and a mom.
But the love of the game and all it entails still grips me down to my core.
Tonight I will sit and watch the game with a new perspective. I am now the mom. (JUST the mom, according to my son, who still doesn't really want to admit that I know the game.) And today I've realized that I've come full circle a bit. I'm now experiencing the same thing all those parents felt as I coached and directed their babies. I now understand how their hearts swelled and skipped a few beats as their own flesh and blood took the court. I know personally the deep longing for your own child to excel and love the game. I appreciate the confidence so many showed me while handing over their daughters to me for a few years of basketball. I took that job very seriously. I longed to teach them the game, but I also hoped to teach them that there was even a greater purpose in life - to love the Lord and please Him.
As I watch my boy play tonight, as much as I would love for him learn from the game as I have, I ultimately desire for him to love the Lord with his whole heart. That alone is what's important. God allows and created sports for our enjoyment, but He longs for us to keep them in perspective. My identity as a player and coach is fine and it's a part of who I am, but my eternal identity is in Jesus Christ, my Savior. If I for one second make it about me, I've made it something it was never supposed to become.
An amazing and poignant podcast that helped me see this more clearly is one from David Platt and is linked here. I would encourage anyone involved in sports of any kind to listen.
Now....... let's go get 'em Dawgs!!
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