When Life Just Stinks...3 Things to Remember

When I saw the missed call on my phone, I automatically knew in my gut that something wasn't right.  I even hesitated before returning it.  My high school friend doesn't call regularly and she wouldn't call at this time of night if it wasn't something important.  I knew.  But just to make sure, I checked the atmosphere on facebook. Sure enough, two other high school friends had an ambiguous request for prayer.  My stomach felt sick.  What's happened at home?

I reluctantly picked up the phone and hit 'call back'. 

"Dana," she said, "have you talked to anyone about what's happened today?"

Here it comes, I thought.  This is where life changes as I know it.

And then there it was. 

The news came that a mutual friend and classmate of ours was now a widow.  Her husband's life had been tragically cut short.  We talked briefly and then sat in silence, minus a fews sighs, as we both tried to wrap our brains around the situation. 

I didn't sleep much and woke up the next morning still processing the news.  My whole body ached for my friend.  She was waking up to a brand new normal.  I wept for her, for her new life, and for her children.  I grieved over the details and wrestled with the whys.  

This isn't the first time I've grappled with the death of a friend's husband.  And all those memories came rushing back.  I felt like the scars that had healed up from that tragedy had been ripped back open just a bit. 

Life stinks sometimes.

Husbands die. 
Friends get cancer. 
People go homeless. 
Babies are mistreated. 
Children go wayward.
Marriages end.
Good people are infertile.
Orphans are left without parents.

And the list goes on.  And the hurt is real.

For my classmate, there's no amount of words or wisdom that could possibly be said right now that take would away the hurt that she feels.  As much as friends pray for her and comfort her and stand beside her, there's nothing that instantaneously heals.  It simply hurts like the dickens, and there's nothing anyone can do to help it. 

Time doesn't heal all wounds.  Time simply makes them a little more bearable. 

Life just stinks in that way sometimes.

This morning I received an email from a friend.  She was pondering some hard life topics and her questions were legitimate ones.....(paraphrased)...

What happens when your child dies, or you get cancer for the third time, or you don't make enough money to survive and must go through trash to feed your family? Is it enough to tell these people "Jesus loves you?" Sometimes I can see where it would be impossible to see a loving God in this hell on earth.

This tied in with much I had been thinking.  So how do we wrestle with the fact that life just stinks sometimes?  How do we make any real sense of tragedy and suffering?  As I sought God for answers, He gave me three.  I'm sure there are plenty more, but in His wisdom, I'm sure He knows this was all I could handle for the day.

1.  This life is not the end. 
For those who believe in Jesus Christ as Savior, heaven is our true home. 

Expecting this present age to be without heartache and pain, is living with wrong expectations. 

Often, we put too much stock in this life.  It's so easy to live as if this current existence is all we've got. Life is often messy and difficult and hard.  If it were perfect and bliss, we would already be experiencing heaven.  Our troubles cause us to long for eternity.

Believers have hope in eternity where there will be no heartache, no sorrow, no tears.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Cor 4: 17-18

2. We do not have the mind of God. 
Newsflash:  I Am Not God.  I don't have His mind, His perspective, His wisdom, and His infinite plan. We live in a world that is wrecked by sin and because of that, we are sinners living sinful lives causing more sin.  Thankfully, by sending His own son to die, we have hope of previously mentioned #1. 

Believing in something we can't see or fully understand might seem ludicrous to some.  To Christians, it's termed 'faith.'  When tragedy abounds, we trust that God has everything under His control.  When it makes no sense to me or the known world, we are challenged to trust. It means believing that Someone higher than you is in control.  And this level of faith pleases God. 

He longs for our trust when the tragedy strikes.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean it won't hurt. It sometimes hurts big and long.  And the hurt often turns people away from God.  But in His infinte wisdom, beyond what we can see, it's a part of His perfect plan.  It's much like the new mother taking her baby for shots. The baby can't fathom why mom would allow the pain.  But the mother knows it's for the best and the pain is temporary.  (Non-vaccinators please don't send me articles....it was just an example.) 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..." Isaiah 55:8-9

3. We are more equipped to comfort others because of the pain we've endured. 
I never, ever wanted to go through a time of infertility. Never. What good could possibly come from me NOT having a baby?!  Seriously, this seemed messed up!  He couldn't be meaning this to happen to ME?  Ummm, yes, yes He was. 

Because of the years we spent dealing with infertility, I am able to comfort other mothers along the way who've faced the same circumstance.  And there have been many in my path.  I can cry with them because I will never forget the heartache that comes with it.  I can encourage them with full knowledge of what they're facing.  And I can cheer even louder for them when He answers.  Had I not faced it myself, they would look at me the same way I did when people gave me 'pat' answer - like I had no idea! But because of my own heartache, I can relate completely. 

This is hard to swallow.  It may mean that we cry out, "I don't ever want to be a comfort to others if it means that kind of hurt!  Count me OUT!"  But because of #2, we don't get that privilege. 

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  2 Cor 1: 3-4

Life still stinks sometimes. 
It just does.  Hurt, hardship, and tragedy are realities. 

But God is still good.  He has a plan and a purpose.  We either believe that or we don't.  We either trust His plan, or we wastefully spend time trying to devise our own.  His is much better, even when it doesn't seem so. 

So let's live fully, love unashamedly, pray continually, spread the Good News daily, encourage one another freely, and expectantly look forward to eternity.