Decisions....

Yesterday I cleared some things from my plate and it felt wonderful. I resigned from a committee that I never should have agreed to in the first place. It was a committee that I first said "yes" to because I thought I could really help (just being honest), not because it was something that I really felt called to do. I've spent the last eight months not really wanting to go to meetings and not really feeling as though I was helping. Does every committee need me? Absolutely not. This one, however, had a good cause and a potential new direction, therefore, I reluctantly convinced myself that I should take part.



I've learned over the years, as a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, that He enables me to "hear" His voice through the power of His Spirit living inside of me. Sometimes this voice is a strong feeling - something that I absolutely can't mistake. Sometimes, though inaudible, it seems as if it's as loud as I get when I'm coaching my daughter's ballgames. Sometimes it's as soft as a whisper, yet still unmistakable. Sometimes, there is complete silence.



When I was first asked to be on this committee, I sincerely prayed for God's direction and His will. Should I accept the position or pass it up? After a little time had passed with no strong feeling, loud voice, whisper, or neon sign, I was pressed to give an answer. I reviewed the many reasons that it would be worth the time and effort - and I even went through a few reasons to decline the committee. After weighing the pros and cons, I still heard nothing from the Lord. Well, truthfully, I heard silence. What I did not hear was a "yes." So I did what most of us do....I accepted the "one more" thing onto my plate, convinced myself that it wouldn't terribly affect my family, and went about my day.



There have been many times in my life that I've heard an unmistakable YES. Sometimes the yes has come quickly, and I distinctively knew that I should accept the role, take the job, or do the thing. Many times the answer has not been so sudden or clear. It caused me to search God's Word and allow it to permeate and saturate my thoughts. God's Word is clear, though, "If you seek me...with all your heart, you will find me."......and "...call unto me and I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." I understand that I cannot take those verses out of context, but for me they are proof that God wants for me to seek Him and call unto to Him. He is pleased when we do that. He wants us to want to know what He thinks.



Even though my own children haven't had life-altering decisions to make yet (being that they are all under 12), it greatly pleases me when they come to me for my opinion. They show that they value my input. It shows wisdom that they are seeking advice. In the same way, we show wisdom when we seek the Lord......it honors Him. Are there times when he leaves the decision completely in our hands, with no clear yes or no? Perhaps. Are there times when He is purposefully silent for a while? Absolutely. But His Spirit never leaves the hearts of believers. We are sealed with It for eternity. His voice is always inside of us.



So what have I learned? In the future, my desire is to hear clear answers to the decisions in front of me......to stay on the path that He marks out for me. But ultimately He allows me to make mistakes in order to grow and learn. I am reminded of a book that I read aloud to my children a few years ago, "The Hedge of Thorns." As long as the main character stayed on the worn path, he was safe and protected. If he strayed from it, he often got scraped and cut from the thorn bushes that lined the way. Even in his desire to stay on the path, he often got distracted and relinquished the path.



In my desire to follow the path that is best, I must daily put myself in the presence of the One who can lead me. I'm still a bit bandaged up from straying into the thorns a few times. I truly don't want any more cuts or scrapes. Beyond hedges of thorns and bushes often lie steep hills and large ravines. I definitely don't want that. For now, I'll purposefully wait upon the Lord with each decision. I want to be careful not to rush or move ahead when I shouldn't. If I don't hear a resounding yes, then I will accept that as a wait or a no - trusting in the guidance of my Lord.  More water just gushed upon my rock...