Another gift I remember specifically is a blush-colored pant suit that came from Ima's. The pants were a wool blend that would last me a thousand years, and the matching sweater was fuzzy and oh-so soft. I think I ended up wearing it to the Valentine's dance that next year. Anything that came from Ima's was a treat for me. We weren't well off, and that store wasn't cheap. Frank, the owner, would often cut my mom a good deal that allowed us clothes we couldn't otherwise afford.
Why in the world those two particular presents stand out, I have no earthly idea. I've tried to think of other years gone by and just can't seem to find anything significant in my memory bank. All those Christmases. All those presents. Why does nothing come to mind? Again, we didn't have a lot, but we didn't hurt for anything either. My mom, who grew up only a few rungs above dirt poor, wanted to make sure I had more than she did. Our Christmas mornings leaned toward the side of QUANTITY, baby!
As I fought off some my own Christmas-buying guilt this morning, I let my mind drift just a bit. I started thinking about Christmas mornings around the globe and how differently they look from house to house. Some have gifts a-plenty while many have next-to-nothing. Some parents go into financial frenzy just to give their kids more than their means. Some households plan and put back and save and scrimp all year long so that one day a year is overly special. Some families choose not to give each other gifts at all, but instead give to others in need as a way of spreading Christmas cheer. My kids would die right on the spot if I suggested that last one, just sayin.
What's right?
Where's the balance?
How much is too much?
Maybe we should give just three gifts like the wise men brought to Jesus, or four gifts for each letter of our last name. Or maybe seven gifts, because that's our honorary "family number. " Geez.
But don't mess with me because I can rationalize every gift under our tree in 30 seconds flat if I need to. I've gone into full-blown justification mode over these questions many times, and I can do it again, by golly. My kids neeeeeed what they're getting. Yeah, whatever.
And just to make myself feel better, I've got the catalog right here to help give chickens or goats or water to an undernourished village in India. We will all gather 'round like good little boys and girls and pick out gifts as a family tonight. Boom!
Justification overload.
So as I played ping pong in my brain with what was legitimate gift-giving and what was not, and I ended up with a list I didn't expect. A list of gifts that often cost little but give much. A list of gifts that can be given once or year-round or over and over. A list of gifts that wouldn't be quickly forgotten like the latest toy off the shelf.
I chose six, because, well, that's just what I ended up with. I could come up with something fancy, like the fact that CHRIST has six letters, and that Christ Jesus was the greatest gift, but honestly, I just ended with six, so here goes.
1. Love
The very best gift we can give is love. Unconditional love with no strings is hard, and it's becoming more and more uncommon. We often put limiting conditions on the love we choose to give away. We love the easy-to-love and the ones that love us back. We love those who can give us what we need. We love those who look like us or worship the same God we do. But unconditional, all-in love calls for more than that. What about the unlovely? What about those in a different political party or denomination? What about those that hurt us or use us?
Love doesn't cost anything in monetary standards, but often costs sacrifice and selflessness that we aren't willing to part with.
Who needs the gift of love from you this Christmas?
2. Forgiveness
As I pondered the best gifts ever given, forgiveness rose to the top for me. I've been forgiven a lot in my life, and it always takes me to a unashamed place of humility that I wouldn't trade for anything else. Over the course of the recent months, I've done some soul-searching. I came to the place where I realized it was time to ask forgiveness from a couple folks. I wasn't sure that I had done anything offensive or hurtful to them, but they kept coming to mind, so I wanted to be sure. Those conversations were times of slate-clearing, heart-purifying, forgiveness-giving, and I won't soon forget them like gifts of Christmases past.
And because I've been forgiven much, by Christ first, and also by others, I am more prone to give forgiveness, even to those that I might not think deserve it.
If we only give forgiveness to those that deserve it or ask for it, we keep ourselves in bondage. We only hurt ourselves. When we hand over the gift of forgiveness to those that have hurt or used or abused us in some way, we open the way to true forgiveness from the One that gives freely to us.
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15
Who needs your gift of forgiveness? To whom do you need to ask forgiveness this year?
3. Truth
This is not the truth that comes in the form of "yes, I think that makes you look fat" or "no, that new hairstyle isn't flattering on you." This is the gift of truth that speaks life to someone out of a genuine love for them. Or it's truth that may be hard to say because it's not what the other person wants to hear, but because it's right.
My best friends and I are just that, best friends, because of this gift more than any other. We can speak truth freely and openly because we care deeply for one another and have greater interests in mind than fleeting emotions or carefree whims. They are gut-honest with me because they love me. To receive God-honoring truth from a person that desires my holiness more than my happiness, is a gift that is priceless.
We can't speak truth, however, unless we know Truth. Truth is often relative to many, but for me, it comes in the form of biblical counsel, straight from the Word of God. If we don't know the Word, we can't give it. And even some who know it can take it out of context. But scripture is actually pretty simple. And if the bible says it, I believe it. Not everyone feels this way, I understand that. But if I'm going to err on truth-giving, it will be because I side with the inerrancy of scripture. You don't have to be a bible scholar to do this. Start with the verses you know. Learn more about what God's Word says. It's not too vast or too deep for you. And ultimately we must flank this gift with double-doses of love and mercy.
"...speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ..." Ephesians 4:15
Who needs your sweet gift of loving truth?
4. Peace
Despite the Norman Rockwell paintings, families at Christmas are often anything but peace-filled. Because we're human, with all our flaws and claws, strife can abound at this time of the year. Tensions build and spill and tear and break families in half. Perhaps you take all of your anxieties straight through the front door on Christmas Eve just waiting for someone to step on your not-so-jolly toes, and then you let loose with all that's been accumulating since last year, or five years ago. Or maybe you just let them boil and bubble inside until the very last thing you feel by the time you open the first present is peace on Earth or goodwill toward men, for pete's sake.
One of the very names of Jesus, foretold in Isaiah, is Prince of Peace. His very presence in our lives gives peace and gives us the ability to extend peace. This isn't a magic formula. You don't "get" Jesus and live in perfect peace. Peace is a choice. You can give your family or your friends or your frenemies the gift of peace this year by making a simple choice. The choice is this:
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
This gift is not dependent upon anyone but you. It doesn't depend on anyone else's words or actions or decisions.
"As far as it depends on you...."
That's your gift to give, making the choice to live peacefully. No drama. No unrest. No pulling the scabs off old wounds. Nothing.
It sounds hard and it is sometimes. But it can be simple if we examine our deepest motives. Most of the time, we live UNpeacefully with others because we feel the need to get even or get revenge. Think about it. We long to teach them a lesson or give them a piece of our mind instead of giving the gift of peace.
You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You. Isaiah 26:3
Our peace and our peace-giving ability ultimately is equivalent to how much we trust in the Prince of Peace to fight our battles for us.
How can you give the gift of peace this holiday season?
5. Help
Who around you needs a little help? Maybe the single mom working two jobs could use you to look after her kids while she finishes her Christmas shopping. Or maybe the widow down the street needs help with her drain that's clogged. Maybe your aging parents need some help balancing the bills this month. Or maybe that family from your kids' school could use help buying groceries.
One year, after my husband had had a back surgery and several hospital trips, a lady from our church walked up to me and handed me a card. Inside the card was a beautifully written note and a $100 bill. It didn't come close to paying the surgery bills, but it helped a ton. More than that, it let me know there are those in the world that care enough to give. It's been fourteen years since that day, but I remember that generous gift more than I remember what I unwrapped last Christmas.
There is always someone who needs a helping hand, and much of the time it doesn't cost anything.
Who could use your helping hand this year, this week?
6. Grace
Grace is a gift that encompasses all of the five previous gifts listed already. Grace isn't necessarily a separate gift, but more like the bow on top of all of them. Grace is the act of giving a gift that isn't deserved or earned or that can be repaid.
Grace is the personification of Christ, the Messiah.
Jesus, Himself, came to earth in the form of a baby, to live and die and rise so that I might have eternal life that I do not deserve. Because of nothing that I've done, no degree of giving or doing or helping, He gave up His throne in Heaven to become flesh and dwell on earth for me. He lived sinless, yet died for my sins so that I don't have to. In His infinite and incomprehensible grace, He died so that I might live.
Because of accepting the gift of grace that Christ offers, I can give grace in its various forms to others. In the form of love or forgiveness or peace or truth or help.
Who in your life needs that very grace?
My friend, these gifts last. They are indestructible and invaluable. They are not quickly forgotten and won't need to be exchanged for a different size.
These are gifts that don't cause buyer's remorse or seller's regret.
They give freedom and spread joy. They repair broken down walls and often mend relationships. They bring cheer that no wrapped gift can. They're way better than my rockin' stereo system or blush pant suit.
Perhaps one of these gifts strikes a chord with you. Maybe when you read it, someone comes immediately to mind. Don't put it away. Don't forget it. Give that gift. You won't be sorry.
May the coming days be filled with the best gifts. To you and yours.
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