As I lay in the hospital bed in premature labor, my mind raced to think of a name for this baby I was carrying. We had run through a myriad of names and come up with nothing that really fit. I was 31 weeks pregnant with a boy. Girl names are easy for me, and I had plenty in mind. But boy names are difficult. Not just any name goes with our short and unique last name. Not just any name sounded masculine enough to embody this little one who doubled me over with his kicks. I knew he would be rough and tumble well before he left the world I warmed for him and entered life on his own. He kicked hard. He made his presence known early. And he was ready to get out and start playing - early! He needed a name, soon.
By the end of two days in the hospital, my preterm labor stopped enough to go home and directly to my bed. I would spend the next six weeks in bed with only bathroom privileges. It was a crazy time for me full of constant contractions and long days of nothingness. That's not easy for someone like me who gets her joy from being as busy as possible. I obviously had plenty of time to think of the perfect baby name, though. I searched books and magazines. Every tv show that came on was a potential baby-name finder. Time was short and I was getting worried. Finally one day I decided to go through every bible name in the concordance located in the back of my bible again. This wasn't the first time, but I now I was getting desperate. It wasn't until the N's that I knew I had found it. Surely I had looked at it several times, but now it took on new significance. Not only did I like the ring of it, this time I had noticed it's meaning.
Right there in the back of my bible: NATHAN - meaning, "gift from God."
It settled on my heart like a warm coat. He will be Nathan. He was my gift straight from God. It had only been a little over three years prior that we thought we might not be able to have children at all, and here we were having our second. The first was an incredible blessing and the second was now an added gift. (The third was just a plain-ole surprise, my friends! One that we wouldn't trade for the world.)
Eleven years ago today, I was taken off that six-week bedrest period. I went to the doctor that morning and was told that I could "resume normal activity and see how it goes". My little gift had the ok to enter our world. He didn't waste any time. By that very evening the contractions started. At 4:10 am, Nathan was born - my St. Patrick's Day baby - complete with red hair. :)
He has been a gift that adds so much to my life. Love, joy, humor, and intensity. Along with those intangibles, he has also greatly increased my prayer life. :) He has been difficult, hard-headed, disobedient, and still hides his dirty clothes in the back of his closet. We continually work through our differences and rejoice in the victories. He loves deeply and plays hard. He told me this week after working with preschoolers at our church, "It's official! I love teaching little kids." That made this momma's heart swell as I thought of the prayers of the last eleven years....prayers that he would be full of love and compassion for others.
He is one rock that the water continues to splash and spray and gush upon. I love seeing the new grooves the water makes. I love watching him change and grow. I love the glimpses God gives me in seeing what He will become. We still have struggles ahead, no doubt (see aforementioned dirty clothes). But the gift is the same - one big bundle of boy that has been stretching me and growing me for eleven years now.
Happy Birthday to my Nate!
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